So what’s stopping you?

By Tammy Johnston

I am fascinated by the infamous “they” and the monstrous “what if”.  The unknowable people whose opinions matter so much to the vast majority of us.  We can’t do that for fear of what “they” will think.  We can’t do this because “what if” that happens.  So we stop ourselves.  We hold ourselves back.  We settle for mediocre, even painful, because of the irrational, unnamable fears that run around in our heads.

A few weeks ago I was speaking with a client about the infamous “they”.  These people that will judge us, look down on us, talk about us behind our backs (and sometimes in front of our faces), and we must make our decisions to keep “them” happy.  So I asked her a question, “How happy or successful are any of those people in any area of their lives?”

Most people don’t care what others are doing; they are fully wrapped up in their own lives.  The ones that do care are usually miserable, unsuccessful people that are looking for someone to pick at because it gives them the illusion of feeling better about their own unhappy lives.  The people that judge your business are most likely employees trapped by fear in jobs they hate.  The people that judge your efforts to be healthy and active are usually sick, overweight people without the courage to get off the couch and do something other than grab another beer or bag of potato chips.  The people that judge your relationships are most likely lonely or stuck in some sort of dysfunctional relationship.

The other obstacle we all face is the voice in our heads.  The ominous “what if it goes wrong?”  Life is filled with challenges, problems, and yes, even heart break.  We start businesses but they never go smoothly and easily.  We buy houses and cars and they need repairs and maintenance; the house could burn down and the car could be totaled in an accident.  We get into relationships and they are filled with challenges; relationships end one way or another, eventually.

Go for what you want.  Listen to your heart.  Put in the effort to risk stepping onto the playing field of what your desire.  The only other option is to live your life on the periphery looking back and regretting what could have been.  The pain of trying and losing is bearable.  The pain of never having tried is heartbreaking.

“We fear violence less than our own feelings.  Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict.”            Jim Morrison

Tammy Johnston is the President and CEO of The Financial Guides: www.thefinancialguides.com 

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