Growing up strong

By Tammy Johnston

I was reading an article early this week about over protective parents and how they are crippling their children.  I couldn’t agree more.  Unfortunately, I see more children being destroyed by over-mothering than ever before.  Under the guise of love and protection these well-meaning people are stealing valuable lessons from the kids.

On one occasion where I was volunteering on one of my daughter’s field trips, I was in charge of her and two other kids for the day.  Once they ate their lunches  were to send them out to play.  At the end of the designated eating time I asked the little boy if he had finished his lunch and he shook his head no.  I said, okay, you can deal with the consequences.  At that very moment one of the other moms jumped in to his rescue to say that it was our job to ensure that they ate their lunches.  I was blown away.  If the kid decided to mess around and not eat lunch he would knowingly miss one meal; he would not starve to death.  He would be eating dinner at home in a few hours.  He would feel a little uncomfortable.  I guarantee he would spend his next opportunity eating and not goofing around.  Natural consequences.

Children need to learn about the natural consequences of life and learn basic life skills otherwise they grow up to be weak, miserable, incapable adults.  If it is life threatening or could otherwise seriously harm them, of course we need to intervene, but when children are never allowed to experience discomfort, disappointment, or heaven forbid failure, how are we preparing them for the real adult world which is filled with all three?

Our job as parents is to give our kids the life skills and resilience to be strong, independent adults.  Teaching kids to do chores around the house like cleaning, laundry, and cooking gives them the ability to take care of themselves when they move out.  Letting them experience the rewards of responsibly handling their money and the consequences of bad money decisions prepares them for the much more important adult financial choices they will have to make.

Let your kids make some decisions on their own and discover what happens without the interference of Mom and Dad.  Get your kids helping with responsibilities around the house.  The short term extra work and little bit of pain of watching them stumble is so worth it when you know that you are growing them into strong, healthy, and capable adults.

“Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those the art of living well.” Aristotle

Tammy Johnston is the President and CEO of The Financial Guides: www.thefinancialguides.com.

Category: Family, Living